Ex-Factors

Ever wonder whatever happened to those people who ruined your emotional stability for a certain period of time after they dropped you for someone else?  Or, maybe it was visa-versa with you holding the better hand: you dropped their baggage at the curb.  Well, I do.  I wonder from time to time what happened to those exes, but with the internet, a LOT can be unearthed.

I found my first boyfriend’s wife’s blog. I found my last ex’s wedding page advertising their need for fancy cheese presses and gift cards to support their honeymood. I find out lots of things with the help of the little search engine that could: Google.

(So, yes, internet fans, this comes across rather stalkerish. But, admit it, you’ve Googled a few people from your past to see where they landed in life. In fact, you probably do it on Facebook and MySpace, too. And, if you’re anything like me and the REST OF THE WORLD, you know you’re comparing apples to oranges. You know you expressed a “holy shit, I can’t believe this person procreated!” It’s true – you know you wondered how some people even managed to figure out how to use those parts to make babies.)

Anyway, what I find to be rather ironic (hopefully this is being used correctly) is that in each of my previous relationships, the women my exboyfriends married were both women they said THEY WERE NOT ATTRACTED TO. This should have been a sign from the moment I met these women. Right then, in my pajamas with one and a formal dress with the other, I should have stood up, shook their hands, congratulated them on their wins, and stepped aside.

After all, it was a testament to my taste and my good luck. My taste because I got them first. My good luck because they took the tired, used parts off my hands for free!

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