Last night, Dave and I joined the Alliance of Emerging Professionals at the Oklahoma City Zoo to pass out candy to Halloween revelers at the Haunt the Zoo event. Like many urban areas, it offers a controlled, safe environment where children and parents feel safe while walking around the park after the sun sets.
At station 15, sponsored by the big-box department store I loathe the most (read: W.M.), our outpost included several boxes of Starburst candy to pass out to the kids and a creepy cemetery. Dressed as vampires, and attempting not to drool all over ourselves with the latex fangs in our mouth, we were a pretty scary bunch. So scary, many small children did not want to approach us. We seriously were not that scary until one group member, in a deep, Dracula-inspired voice, would ask, “Do you want some can-day?” And then most of the little kids clung to the closest parental leg, shaking their heads violently to the left and right.
However, the funniest part of the night occured early in the event. When you try to talk with latex teeth in your mouth, especially the one-size does not fit all kind, you lose your ability to enunciate and then you drool down your face. Well, after two little black girls, dressed as pink and purple witches, approached with their mother, took their candy, and began to walk to the next station, one of the group members, in an attempt to keep the Halloween spirit flowing, said:
“Aww, those are some cute BITCHES!“
What he actually said, with vampire fangs clogging his mouth, was: “Aww, those are some cute WITCHES!” However, due to the extra set of teeth and failed enunciation, he sounded rather gangsta. I nearly doubled over in laughter and it took every ounce of strength not to pee my pants in front of our new sets of friends.
At this point, we are still unsure of whether or not the mother heard what he said, but if anything, we felt his faux pas allowed us to channel a new sort of Halloween diversity that evening.