We are sitting watching the American Music Awards when someone announced the finalists for some rap category. Yes, we watched the AMAs, the most God-awful set of awards in history. No one good ever shows up and everyone lip syncs to their own music. Like many televised award shows, the event passed like a horrifying train wreck and even though you want to tear your eyes from their sockets, you cannot help but sit slack jawed in awe and disbelief. Anyway, I cannot remember all of the finalists, but I do remember Bone Thugs N’ Harmony. Cleveland’s finest rap group resurfacing from crunk oblivion.
I had their album in middle school. Oh, and my dad worked on their Cadillacs. They weren’t crunkin’ the Bentleys when I was thirteen. I probably could have used crunk correctly in a sentence at age thirteen. At just shy of twenty-five, the situation is hopeless. I just like to type it and pretend I am with it.
Anyway, as they were announcing the finalists, Dave turned to look at me. As soon as we heard them announce Bone Thugs, we started chanting “bone, bone, bone, bone, BONE, bone, bone, booooone….” And if you were as cultured as Dave and me, you’d recognize the song as “Tha Crossroads,” a chart-topping hit from their 1995 album E. 1999 Eternal. I am thankful for the internet every day of my life.