Fabulous and Flirty Fourteen

My youngest stepbrother is a freshman in high school.  Tonight, as his away message reads, he’s at the football game rooting on his Alma Mater.  It’s a sweet, happy memory of crisp fall evenings spent in the stands of the stadium maintaining a terribly awkward lifestyle you attempt to pursue for four horribly weird years.  It honestly makes me shudder to imagine reliving high school.

You never think high school is an awkward age until you reflect upon all the strange and embarrassing moments that occur while you are there.  Seriously, when you were fourteen, when was life normal?

For example, for my first homecoming dance, I agreed to go along with one of the guys that rode my bus.  Case in point: you can’t drive your own car, so your parents get to drive you to your homecoming dance as you sit as far apart from each other in the back seat, buckled up, and fronting basic questions from the monster in the passenger seat with the most ambiguous answers you can muster.  Your only relief is knowing they have to leave you alone soon and only for a few good hours.

The person that escorted me to the dance brought a nice flower for me to wear to the dance.  And instead of purchasing a sweetheart rose corsage to place around my wrist, I received a a bright yellow mum the size of the moon to place on the strap of my dress.  Yes, my friends, I essentially wore a boutonniere to my first high school dance.  It clashed marvelously with my shimmery black and blue gown.

I was taller than him.  I was lanky and thin.  I was socially inept.  There are one thousand reasons why that dance, and therefore all of high school, was awkward, but nothing makes my gag reflex kick into action more than thinking about that damn mum on the gown.  It’s not too often that you get to feel like the queen in a man-on-man relationship as a female.

I may have purposely lost that picture for sake of adulthood composure.


3 thoughts on “Fabulous and Flirty Fourteen

  1. haha, yes I remember high school. I was originally going to say I “Vividly” remember high school but the bottomline was I was high a lot and high school in a lot of ways was a blur.

    However! I do remember enough about high school to know that I really don’t ever want to relive that point in my life at any time. I had a lot of enemies primarily due to the company I kept on campus and off.

    I only went to one or two dances and it really wasn’t my thing but I did it. My homecoming was weak. I went with my high school sweetheart which sounds great in theory except at that point she was actually my ex-girlfriend. During that particular dance she got up and left our table to go mack on some fat guy she was trying to hook up with at the time. I won’t get into what happened shortly thereafter but I completely agree on never wanting to do the high school thing again. I suppose it’d be all good if I could go back knowing what I know now for obvious reasons but other than that, no thanks.


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